Our Karakachan dog Samson has been terribly ill since receiving medication as a pup – at that time he was under the care of someone else. The cascade effect of the drug took out his kidneys, liver, immune system etc. Since he came to me, we have been walking an intense healing journey and of course, his healing is teaching me so much more about healing – myself and others – than I ever knew before.
When we got the option to continue Samson’s treatment by detoxing with IV fluids, my immediate reaction was a HELL NO!!
There is no way I want to subject this dog to the stress it causes him and I to have anyone near him, let alone a needle. Double muzzles, (lunges at anyone near him) tight leash, chairs flying, large tables lurching, Samson crying with fear and anxiety , and my usual sturdy legs shaking (I’ve handled very large excited horses… a gazillion times) but, for some reason, in this case the chaos and drama have been too much for me to handle alone, and often, I had friends accompany me, just to support me as I tried to stay calm to support Samson.
Throughout this journey with Samson, I have gathered an INCREDIBLE team of support both for me emotionally, and for him physiologically. My holistic Veterinarian team is beyond fathomable, as they have done so much and continue to stay by our side on this bumpy road through healing this illness.
My work is with animals, and their humans. The responsibility I have chosen to step into, is to give the animals a voice. To do my work to shed my own filters and clarify my own vision so I can be the utmost purest voice for them.
So, when Samson got sick, of course I jumped into super hero action: I want to help him….I want to heal him, I want to save his life. A sense of desperation takes over at first, then settles into this deep underlying sadness and worry that literally took hold of every moment of my life. Anger, blame, helplessness…. How can this happen to ME…. again…. why do I have these manifestations of grief showing up through death, pain, or sickness of the ones I love the most….?
As Samson lies here, I’m sitting on the floor in the vet’s large private room/office. I’ve been here for two days now, as the IV drips slowly into his vein, he snores, in complete surrender. Ive had some time to think, and I’ve had some time to dialogue with him, and with some other brilliant Animal Listener’s who are also dear friends of mine who know both Samson and I well ( throughout this whole process ). They have been walking with me sharing perspective from a subjective and unbiased place and basically kicking my ass as they help me define my path through the the wisdom of the animals… go figure, I am getting a taste of my own medicine and I AM being guided to WALK my TALK.
I have been taking this path more seriously by the day, and each day deepens my respect for it, and the more clear my communication ability becomes; in this case with Samson. My understandings of where in our bodies we need to go, to access clear messages with whomever I am working with. As an animal listener, validation has been my baby blanket…my soother. Whenever doubt sets in, it’s the validation that has kept me going.
The morning after I decided against the IV, I had this calm come over me in my morning “meditation”. What I knew were not my own thoughts said, “take me in for fluids, it will help me.”
Now, the week before, I did take him in for blood tests (again, strongly against my will), and to my huge relief and big surprise, he put his huge black head on my mom’s lap, and just let them draw blood. No fight. No drama. No 120 lb snarling dragon face… not a peep. It felt as though he wanted me to physically SEE his blood work so that the tangible information could be seen to show just how bad he feels, yet, I still was resisting putting him through another ordeal, that could take him days to recover from the stress of it, and perhaps he was just too weak to make it through. And so, his very clear communication came through in that morning meditation.
As we approached the Vet’s office for the IV treatment, he pranced in. He led me to the spot where he would be receiving the IV, lay down and presented his arm. I did muzzle him so I felt better in case he decided to go postal. It never happened. The vet tech shaved his leg (as I’m quietly freaking out because he has NEVER let any stranger near him, let alone with a buzzing machine). She quickly put the catheter in… no flinch, hooked him up to the drip, and he just lay down and went to sleep… no need for a leash. No need for a cage, no need for a muzzle. He was still ALL day. No biting at the bandage. No scratching, no tangling up. Nothing. He was here on HIS terms (Samson doesn’t do anything that is not on his terms… he never has, and he never will). He knew exactly what was going to happen. All of this because I listened and TRUSTED him.
We are living in very special times right now. There is a deepening awareness around everything human. An incredible opportunity to experience the absolute Beauty of Being Human. As my own animals, Samson, and Sigh, and the animals of which are not “mine”… specifically two horse herds I get to work with… both completely different herds, with what I feel are two completely different roles, the Epiphanies hit fearlessly fast in my body, and in my mind… to my souls delight.
This is not always pretty. They have a way of bringing up deep ugly, sub-conscious issues that many of us aren’t either willing or able to see. The animals who are working with me specifically that I am directly aware of are Samson and a horse named Jax. Another horse, Sand, is working – but at a distance, as he awaits coming home to refine my skills in communication and listening.
The messages are interpreted by me, and with guidance of some very special people in my life in an almost daily conversation with them, and the animals, about perspective, trust and how to embody the information we are exchanging. I feel an initiation from Samson… I feel and see his dog body… the body that is sick, and needing a sense of devotion to him, from me, to alleviate (if not a little, then completely) what I perceive as his suffering. And I also see the gifts that he is bringing to the world, through me, to pass on an understanding of the infinite potential of “healing” or a re-balancing of the human Psyche.
I have tried almost everything to help him on the physical. But here’s where it gets beautiful…….
What is happening – that he is helping me with – what I am choosing to translate, is the higher path. The path which runs above the stagnating, and limiting density of his body. The frequencies of subtle information. He is teaching me to listen even more intently than I have ever chosen to. Forcing me to see the dis-organizations in my own energies… The ones that have capped my own highest potential. The ones where the intense fears lurk, where doubt lives and thrives on whatever meek idea we might have of ourselves. He is a guardian of Faith… in me. He is the Master of expectation, as he waits for me to, heal thyself! and show up in my own life in ways that I have only dreamed of, before he either transitions out of his body, or, by the miracle of life herself, heals himself… After… and ONLY after I embody the brilliant essence that is me as an incarnate human will he chose his next step. I am to learn this so I can share the way, through the wisdom of your own creatures… of the creatures of the world, who have so much to teach us.
Have you ever stood next to an Elephant? Or been in presence of a Dolphin? A Whale? The deeper the Awe, whether it’s looking into the eyes of your own beloved animal, or standing next to a Lion, the Animal Kingdom changes us humans on a cellular level… without DOING anything.
What we need, however, is guidance out of our monkey brain into our still center. We need a reminder that deep listening is nothing new and each one of us has the ability to hear even the Earth speak. Humans were once fully connected to Nature… because here’s the reminder… that we ARE Nature… that everything without is a manifestation of within. And we need to practice until the practice becomes us. Samson IS my practice. The horses ARE my practice. And we want to share with you your practice, so that they too can bring you closer to your innate pureness, so that you too can listen deeply to the animals in your life.
I invite you to come see for yourself. See what pieces of YOUR puzzle the animals in YOUR life have for you. There is profundity in simplicity and an order to even chaos. Each tiny revelation leads to the next, the never ending spiral of ascension.
To celebrate the gift of Samson, 15-minute Consultations are no-charge for the month of September.
To book your complimentary communication session (via Skype or in-person)
for more information e-mail, or phone me.
(Photos are Sand(Jax, grey horse in photo with his friend Juno), Samson, and Sigh.)
I love this part:
“Forcing me to see the dis-organizations in my own energies… The ones that have capped my own highest potential. The ones where the intense fears lurk, where doubt lives and thrives on whatever meek idea we might have of ourselves.”
Because it doesn’t matter how far along we get on this path – somehow, this always applies!! I was listening to a story today about a billionaire who has hired my cousin to build his $27 million dollar home here in Langley. And as I heard all the amazing details about how he is building the house and all the features he is putting in, I started mocking myself. “And you think YOUR dreams are so grandiose! That you want so much so it’s going to take time, that’s why it’s difficult, limitation + limitation. And then you compare yourself to this guy and your grand vision is what?? A piffle.”
But yet, as you say, the ‘meek idea I have of myself’ and the ‘disorganizations that have capped my highest potential’. I may think that I am not blocking myself, or that I am doing well on my path. But the distance between my current life and my vision speaks an irrefutable truth.
Is it really an issue of timing? Or is it that, once again, I need to re-examine my self to see where I am standing in my own way? Ah, the journey…